local sights

What a glorious bike ride I had this morning. After a grey, cool and slightly rainy day yesterday our weather returned to Colorado-normal, which is to say magnificent. When I set out on my ride, the temperature was about 60 degrees. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, and all was right with the world. It soon warmed to the mid-sixties, and when I stopped halfway through my ride to remove my hoodie, I was swarmed by Canada Geese who assumed I would feed them. They were wrong, but I did whip out my Lomo and snap some shots of them. In fact, I used at least half a roll of Precisa this morning because The Golden Ponds were so freakin' gorgeous. AND I was finally able to identify that type of black water bird that is usually too far out on the ponds for me to see clearly. One was very close to shore today, and I could see enough of it to look it up: Hello, Double-Crested Cormorant.


I also saw a black squirrel, which ran across the trail in front of my bike. Is that a portent of some kind? This is probably the fifth black squirrel I've seen since we moved here. They aren't any more shy or elusive than the regular grey/brown kind, there are simply far fewer of them.


I often see rabbits hanging out within clumps of prairie dogs, and I wonder if they ever go into each others' homes. Sometimes, when the prairie dogs & rabbits see me or someone else coming and they scatter and run to the dens, I can see the rabbits trying to decide which way to go. Their warrens are farther away from the trail, where as the prairie dogs would put theirs right in the middle of the trails if they could. Today I saw a rabbit sitting on the mound outside a prairie dog den (p.d. porch?) and I imagined the rabbit calling down into the hole "Can Dilbert come out and forage?".

What else is on the agenda for today? The children are painting with watercolors right now, as we wait for the temperature to rise to today's high, an expected 85 degrees. At that point we will head for the swimming pool. After that, who knows? The library, maybe. Ah, the lazy days of summer.

what I am is a dirty list-maker

1. Why does Firefox keep crashing on me??

2. I heard this guy on Bob Edwards Weekend yesterday. More alarm bells.


This guy's book scares Michael Pollan. Holy Cow!

3. We celebrated the 4th by going to our quaint little 4th of July picnic downtown with our friends Erin, Liam, and Nathan. Nathan is Liam's uncle, and the current love of Lyra's life. The last time she saw him (maybe 2 months ago), she literally wailed inconsolably when he left. When I told her on Friday afternoon that he would be joining us, she said "Who's Nathan?". Anyway, after she had re-kindled her affections, we listened to the local symphony orchestra playing the usual round-up of patriotic tunes, plus (go figure) Star Wars and The Phantom of the Opera, after which canons were fired. Fun! Sometimes when I look around here I realize that we really and truly have moved to the Heartland of America, all Norman Rockwell and shit. Which is heart-warming and nice alternating with conservative and scary. The rednecks have different accents, but they are still rednecks. Which makes it sound like we didn't enjoy the picnic, which is not at all true!! We totally did. Partly because, unlike Texas, it was about 90 degrees with a cool breeze. Delightful! Everyone was very friendly. I saw a Labradoodle (adorable. I totally want one.). We will for sure go next year.

4. But, about what I just said regarding conservatives here, and rednecks, etc.? Well, Thursday evening, I caught up with my friend Kerry, and her friends Maaike & Pat, in Boulder where they had attended a conference. We ate at Centro on Pearl Street and drank Damselflies, yum! (Grey Goose pear vodka, fresh lime juice, fresh ginger, ginger soda + plum preserves) And! While we were eating, seated at a window table, we got to watch an (apparently) Almost-Independence-Day! bike parade which went right by our window.


(**Amendment: I think it was a weekly Thursday night Cruiser ride, made more festive because of the July 4th holiday atmosphere**) There were somewhere between 100 and 150 lighted & costumed riders who stopped traffic and flashed peace signs and sported tutus and crowns. Guess what, ya'll? There was even a picnic table on wheels. Basically there were 4 riders on each side facing each other, pedalling a table down the street. Can you believe it? So, as conservative as Longmont sometimes feels, crazy-assed Boulder is only 12 miles away. Thank God.

finish this sentence

Friday was the last day of the school year for both girls, and Ruby brought home a huge amount of school work for us to sort into two stacks: 1. to be recycled & 2. too funny/cute/smart to throw away. Here are some examples of proverbs she was asked to finish. I'm only posting the ones she didn't know, and for which she invented her own endings.

"Children should be seen not playing."

"It's always darkest before morning."

"The pen is mightier than the pencil."

"A penny saved is good luck."

"Better safe than unsafe."

"Two is company, three is nice."

"The early bird gets luck."

"Don't count your chickens okay?"

Yesterday, to celebrate the beginning of our summer vacation, we went back to Sunflower Farm. It was warm and sunny and wonderful as always, if a bit too crowded. The piglets we first saw the day after they were born are now Babe-sized and way too cute, if dirtier than Babe ever appears to be. I also went for a long solo bike ride. You know what is fun? Riding a bike!

Happy Summer, ya'll!

getaway, part two

Friday night we ate and drank at Osteria Marco.

i love the lamps, and the green wallpaper in the loo.

more resting, then Saturday night we met up with Kris' friend Liz and ate & drank at The Ninth Door.

devils on horseback

cafe and postres

We rode the free shuttle back to the hotel.

Kris & Liz got all caught up on high school gossip

Sunday morning we ate Mother's Day Brunch at Rioja.

St. Germain cocktail complete with house-made grapefruit bitters and grapefruit gelee. Deee-lish!



and then it was time to go back to the airport. Now I'm verklempt, so talk amongst yourselves. Topic: Mother's Day getaway 2010. We're thinking a warm beach in a nation knee-deep in avocados.

Oh yeah, we also went to the Hammond Candy Factory to buy peppermint pillows, elected not to attend the Chocolate extravaganza, but did see Baby Mama. Fun!

Now go wish Sinda a belated Happy Birthday!

getaway, part one

We stayed at the Magnolia Hotel. We shopped in Boulder at Boulder Bookstore and Prana, where Kris flirted with a girl from Tyler, Texas. We ate at Centro and had a really bad server named Ashlee.

nipples!

Suddenly a stranger appeared. Poking her head out of the bathroom stall she appeared startled to see a photo session taking place.




We rested, and we read.


to be continued...

it's been a long week.

We have a new gap in our little family. Mr. Man's beloved cat, Bono, passed away a few days ago. His decline was sudden and for that we are grateful. But every time we see a bright, hot patch of sunlight on the floor of our kitchen or dining room, it seems odd that he isn't there, soaking it in.


Also, can I just say that 2 weeks of Spring Break is 1 too many? Lyra's school is in a different district than Ruby's, so last week was Ruby's break and the week before was Lyra's. I will be sofa king glad to get back to our routine starting tomorrow.


I loved this: Peter Sagel's remarks on the newest Suess movie.




And I have also been enjoying the NPR pieces celebrating Bette Davis' 100th birthday. Here is one by Bob Mondello.

Yesterday the girls and I joined some neighbors for a Clean-Up, Green-Up party. We walked around our neighborhood picking up litter and getting to know each other. It was lots of fun and we met some very nice people. It was organized by my one real girlfriend here, Erin. She is the bright spot in my otherwise bleak and lonely social life. She is just the type of person you'd want to hang out with: easy-going, fun, smart and sassy. As one of the other women there said, "It is impossible to meet Erin and not become her friend". I'm so glad I did meet her!

catching up

I've been remiss in blogging about family events of late, so I'll try and play catch-up. Here is a photo of Junebug showing all the missing teeth. She lost the other top one a couple of weeks ago, and she is growing new ones on top & bottom. Listening to her read aloud is pretty funny right now!


This week is Sugarbear's spring break, so yesterday we (and our friends Erin + Liam) drove up to Eldora to let the kids ski. More about that when I get the film back. Here is a photo of the bear to tide you over.


I also wanted to mention we woke up to beautiful sparkly snow Easter morning:

which was completely gone by early afternoon. We hid 97 eggs in our front & side yards for the girls, who found them all in no time. Easter Sunday was especially nice because we also discovered a Boulder restaurant with perfectly decent Tex-Mex: Juanita's.
And we ate way. too. much! The only thing missing was you!

yes, I managed to finish the stockings at about 10:45pm Christmas Eve

The stockings are made from thrift store sweaters felted (technically"fulled" rather than felted) in my washing machine.






Emma has almost recovered from her (apparent) influenza. Christmas eve morning, I had become convinced that she had Distemper and sent Mr. Man to the Vet's office with her, not expecting her to come home. We had explained the situation to the children, and we were all ready to see her suffering come to an end. Then Mr. Man called and said the Vet thought it looked more like a vicious flu that has been going around, switched her meds. and now she is doing great. I don't know whether it is really the new med. combination or whether the flu has just run its course now. Either way, it finally seems like we are going to have a dog after all.

Here is Junebug modelling her new Mini Boden shirt. She spied it months ago in a catalogue and made a special request for it.

And here is Sugarbear jumping for joy in front of her X-Mas booty.


Above is a shot taken with my new macro lens.

Now just the eye, cropped from the above photo. Cool, huh?

All is well here, our visitors have left and more come tomorrow. Until then we have lots of leftover ham to eat. Cheers, all!

what a day.

Yesterday started off well enough tho' Junebug did complain of a sore throat upon awakening. No biggie, we've all been passing around a cold and the air is kinda dry. Got her off to school and spent the morning nursing Emma and doing some things around the house (like vacuuming up a few weeks accumulation of granola bar crumbs from the floor of the car. The air had become unbreathable due to funky fumes no cute car deodorizer could match) before heading out to return books to the library and go to Costco (12.3 miles from home). Stayed 10 minutes too long there, so mad dash to Sugarbear's school in Boulder (23.5 miles) and managed to be 20 minutes late. That really cuts into my 1+1/2 hours free time between dropping off the youngest and picking up the eldest. Manage to buy a few more gifts at Geppetto's, go home to drop off Costco stuff and hide toys, then race to school to pick up Junebug. When I see her, I notice she is flushed. Her teacher says she complained of not feeling well. I feel her too-warm forehead. No time to dilly-dally, as we must now drive back to Boulder to pick up youngest. Good thing I filled the tank with gas at Costco. When we get there, I order Junebug to keep her possibly-contagious self in the car while I collect the bear. That done, we head back home to Longmont and to the Urgent Care center to get a strep test for Junebug, since she looks a little Scarlet Fever-y to me. We still don't have a pediatrician here because, since we moved here, we haven't needed one. The rapid test was negative but they started the other test a-culturing or whatever to double check, and faxed a scrip to the walgreens where I have a scrip for Emma already waiting. By the time we get there it is pitch black outside and 5:30pm. The walgreens people are super nice and fast. We get home at about 6 and unpack the car which was stuffed with coats, hats, mittens, lunchboxes, end of school-semester craft projects, etc. I proceed to the bathroom to let Emma out of confinement (since 2:30 when I popped in to give her another dose of antibiotics, which, p.s. must be given while wearing gloves because THEY! ARE! POTENTIALLY! TOXIC! but only if you need bone marrow to survive.) and what did I find? DIARRHEA! AND MORE DIARRHEA! and partially shredded tissue box & toilet paper roll, and happy, feeling-better-to-be-out-of-that-room! dog.

SO. Emma is put outside ("I know it is cold! Don't look at me like that! You, Missy, are covered in yuck and must be outside!") while I put on my Hazmat suit. Then I bring dog in, wipe feet with damp washcloth and take her to the other bathroom and leave her there. I get the other bathroom scrubbed and the dog bed cover and towels into the washing machine, wash my hands really, really well, and feed the kids + myself. I administer the meds to Junebug. It is 7pm and no word from Mr. Man. Apparently he has been delayed. I tell the kids to get ready for bed while I give the dog a bath. Yesterday, Emma had lived with us for 13 days and this would be the third bath I have given her.

By 8p.m. the kids are in bed, Emma has been fed and is sleeping. Mr. Man comes in at, I don't know, 9-something. We watch a rerun of The Office and then go to bed.

A word about Emma. 2 days ago I thought she was a goner. We have even ordered blood work to test for Distemper because she was so very ill. One steroid shot and some sub-cutaneous fluids later, she is acting like a dog again. Eating, drinking, teasing the dog next door. Hopefully this will soon be over and we will get to know the real Emma, instead of just that mopey, shivering, coughing sad case of a dog.

And guess what? I still haven't finished sewing the bloody x-mas stockings! But I figure I have until the wee hours of x-mas eve to do that. No rush, right?

Who Have I Become?

We decorated the Festivus Tree on Saturday. December 1. This is proof that I live far away from my friends and all the things I love to do instead of the stuff I should be doing instead. Weird. Yet here is the proof.


I have also, rather stupidly, committed to making GD stocking for the fam. This is complicated by the fact that I am inept with a sewing machine. I have misplaced the owner's manual for the machine and can't figure out how to get the front-loading bobbin back in there. Fuck!

So I'm getting out the embroidery thread and brushing up on my blanket stitch.

Meanwhile we continue to have these amazing sunsets and sunrises, which still leave me in awe.

Day 21

We woke up to this:

So we went outside to attempt snowball fights with very dry snow.





Mr. Man scored a direct hit on Mom's ass.

But she valiantly returned the favor.

What is the RDA for snow?

Day 20

Well, I feel almost prepared for the holiday. The house is tidy enough so I'm not worried about it, except for last minute vacuuming and such. Most of the Thanksgiving supplies have been laid in, though I still need to pick up the bird at Vitamin Cottage today or tomorrow. That name Vitamin Cottage still makes me laugh. It is comparable to Sun Harvest and resides in a strip mall, so there's no real cottage anywhere near it. I've tried to get things done early so
a) I don't freak out later and
b) the weather won't be a factor. We are expecting some snow tonight and tomorrow and I'd rather be at home for it.

As much as I am looking forward to having the big meal here, in our new home which we love, I still teared up a little yesterday just thinking about the annual gathering at Sin & Jesse's house. That event holds so many warm memories for me that I can't bear to think about missing it. (Plus, they always have plenty of alcohol, which we will forgo this year in deference to my BIL's sober status). Please know that I will be calling you later for advice on cooking the bird.

The best thing about being responsible for the holiday meal: NO sugar or marshmallows on the sweet potatoes!! Sweet potatoes that I can actually eat without needing to vomit! Also: no canned green beans wrapped with raw bacon and then cooked in the oven until the beans have almost disintegrated and the bacon is still somehow nearly raw. Instead, real small french green beans, crisp and fresh and delicious. Mashed sweet potatoes with butter, salt, pepper and that is all! I'll try to post once a day (some photos of the food?) to comply with the BloMo rules while still not outing myself as a blogger to my in-laws. Wish me luck!

Quickie Post

Aahh! It is suppertime & I still haven't done this! Shit!

Ok, here goes.

Last Friday was Junebug's school's Fall Ball and you know what that means: Halloween costumes. Meet a Spider Fairy (whatever the hell that is) and the Queen of Spain. Spooky!


Scary face or coughing? You decide, I can't remember.

Then, on Sunday en familia, we explored the lovely Cottonwood Farm where they have a corn maze, a straw bale maze, animals and crusty old farm equipment. But now Blogger won't upload any more photos, so I'm off the hook for that and back on the hook for supper. Damn!

time blurring by

I notice it has been more than a week since I wrote a proper post instead of just pointing you toward something I had enjoyed. Summers are normally so lazy and slow that I can lose track of time. This summer has that feeling, but added in to it is an itchy, keyed-up nervousness that comes with the knowledge of vast quantities of change looming on the horizon.

Every day starts out the same way, trying to wake up slowly and failing. Kids do that to you.
So I have some coffee and things come in to focus. I let the girls watch some PBSkids so I can get on the NordicTrack for 30 minutes and have a shower. Then we decide what will happen that day. So far we've been to the pool at least 3 times. Austin has these fantastic free public wading pools which are only 2 feet deep at the deepest part. I can pack up all the crap which mustneeds accompany us, slather sunblock onto the children, and we're set for 3 or 4 hours. I don't even have to bring my swimsuit this year, as the girls are now old enough to stay alive on their own. For me, I pack a lawnchair, Dwell magazines and my knitting and then I'm happy for hours. It is especially nice for me to have the chance to catch up with people I haven't seen all the long school year. This is one of the things I will miss about living here: the history I have with my small communities, like the Shipe Park wading pool folk. Many of the kids attend different pre- and elementary schools during the bulk of the year, so summer is all about getting reacquainted with them.

This week I'm having a vacation from summer vacation. The girls are staying at their Grandma's house while they get swimming lessons. So this morning is oh so quiet at my house. I'm listening to Brian Eno's Ambient One at the moment. So caaaaalming. We are taking advantage of our child-free status by seeing lots of loud movies. Yesterday we went to see Pirates #3 (pretty disappointing) at the Drafthouse, which I'll miss terribly when we're gone. When will they open one in Colorado?
So to make up for it we saw (at home, listening through the stereo loudly! because the kids weren't there) Tenacious D: the Pick of Destiny. I found it to be much funnier than Borat and not nearly so cringe-inducing. Jesse: You. Must. See. This. movie! I kept saying to myself, Jesse would love this!

You may have noticed I said something about "vast quantities of change looming" in the first paragraph. It is official: Mr. Man signed the paper to authorize his company to initiate the relocation. We could still back out if some other, really spectacular, offer comes along. But the children are already starting sentences with, "When we move to Colorado...". And of course, now that it is really heating up here, those mountains are calling my name. And I've started knitting again. Now is the time for list after list of everything we need to do before July, and another list for August. Junebug's birthday is coming up, and Mr. Man's, along with most of our posse who were almost all born in the summer. Anyway, you should see my "To Do" list. It is daunting. But I'm also excited, more so now that it is a sure thing. Probably. Now we just need to find a place to live, and someone to rent our house, and pack and purge. Think of anything we might want from IKEA, since there isn't one in the whole state of Colorado. Buy a case of salsa from El Chile. Etc.

p.s. If you are getting ready to spend a day at poolside, the way we often do in summer, don't forget to pack an assload of food. Because you know all that swimming & sweating makes the kids ravenish. There is one food item you may not have considered for this sort of outing, and let me recommend it to you right now. Bacon. That's right, I said bacon. This is Junebug's favorite food, so I packed some leftover bacon for a jaunt to the pool last Friday. It was perfect! Nice and salty, it doesn't have to be kept cold, and is a guaranteed conversation-starter for those other parents. After Junebug took a turn around the pool chomping on a long strip of bacon, which looked so bizarre and appealing, the other kids turned back to their little piles of Goldfish crackers and raisins and then looked up at their parents asking "Why? Why didn't we bring bacon??" Luckily we had enough to share.


Above: The Junebug chewing a mouthful of bacon.

Crappy Easter! another memo from the Complaint Dept.

This is the e-mail I opened up this morning from Dr. Jenn:

Hello,

Are you guys going to be in town this weekend? I have been meaning to ask, but would you like to come over for Easter dinner? (its almost a tradition!) I promise I will make lamb.... It will be chilly, but the wine will keep us warm. Let me know. I hope you can make it!

--Jenn

I had to reply in the negative, of course, because we currently reside at Virus Central Receiving Station, slot 4, box WTF?

Mr. Man & I are both sick with horrible fluish colds. He has had more feverish chills than I, but maybe those symptoms just haven't arrived at my body yet. Also, Junebug has a fever of unknown origin. So we have heroically placed ourselves in quarantine. You guys don't even know how good that lamb and wine will be at Dr. Jenn's house. Seriously. Plus our kids & their kids love each other so much that we hardly even notice there are 4 kids in the house when we get together. It is parfeck.

Thursday evening we did get to attend Sinda's Passover gathering, (finally! after sitting in traffic for almost an hour & a half with 2 fighting kids in the car), which was unsurprisingly wonderful. I had called from the car because I was worried we were holding up the party. She was reassuring on the phone, and even met me at my car with a glass of Prosecco when we finally arrived. How great is that? Over the years, she has learned that the best way to deal with my high-maintenance ways is to sedate me with alcohol. It's a good solution that works for both of us. The meal was lovely (yummy lamb, squidgy potatoes, everything was yummy!) and it was great to see my "for real" family again. It had been a long time since we'd all been together. I still owe Mosey a birthday gift.

We kept the kids up too late that night considering that Junebug had school the next day. I would have just let her stay home but her class had a field trip planned, with which I had volunteered to help, and she was excited about it. So we were a bit bleery in the morning, but carried on anyway. When I get the film back from the field trip, I'll post some photos.

Oh, and the temperature here is currently 38 degrees F. Has the world gone mad??
Today I've been thinking about this:



I saw it on a t-shirt in a Cafepress store.

This post is kinda scattered, like my brain. But I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday weekend full of bunnies, real or chocolate.

True Love. or damn my human frailty, part 2

I was reading Meno's blog and thinking about love, and being a couple. And Valentine's Day, the biggest fuckover holiday in the history of holidays. There is so much expectation built into it on both sides of any relationship that no gift, card, sentiment or act can live up to the hype. Best to just downplay the whole thing and lower your expectations and maybe, just maybe you'll get a nice little surprise.

One exception to this is the lovely & busy Sinda, who got engaged on V-Day. Maybe she'll tell you all that story sometime.

Anyway, the point is: True Love. You want to know what true love is? I got to experience it firsthand last Monday at 3:30a.m. Sugarbear came to my side of the bed asking rather peevishly for a glass of water. I jumped out of bed a bit too fast for someone who'd just (14 hours earlier) been diagnosed with Strep. I then followed her to the bathroom where she yelled at me that she wanted to get it by herself!! (Okay, then why did you need to wake me?) Right before she told me to tuck her back into bed, I felt all the blood leave my head and I was positive I was going to be sick. I then yelled for Mr. Man to re-tuck the child, and I sat down on the edge of the bathtub. Here's where it gets weird.

Mr. Man says that around this time, he heard a loud thunk come from the bathroom. He thought I'd knocked something over, and he came to investigate. What he saw was me, lying in the tub in a graceless configuration of head and limbs, snoring, with my eyes open.

I know what you're thinking: Ooh! Sexay!

Apparently, I had fainted and fallen into the tub, where I was now sleeping peacefully. He tried to rouse me, unsuccessfully, and then straightened my head ever so slightly to make the snoring stop and allow me to breathe easier. When I told this story to Sinda's sister yesterday, she said "You mean he didn't just cover your head with a sheet so he wouldn't have to be freaked out by your staring eyes? 'Cause that's what I would've done." No he did not. He stayed right with me, talking to me until he was able to wake me a minute or so later. When I did wake up, I could tell he was kind of freaked out. But he was doing an admirable job of hiding it. Then he helped me out of the tub and back into bed, and piled covers on me because I had terrible chills by then. He curled around me trying to warm me with body heat, and kept making sure I was breathing, because my breathing seemed very slow. Then he did what any right-minded 21st. century-type person would do: he consulted the internet. After reviewing the findings, he decided I'd had an adverse reaction to the antibiotics. (We'd find out later that it was that, combined with dehydration. Probably.) Anyway, by this time it was close to 5 a.m., so he just stayed up. But he kept coming back in to the bedroom and sticking his face right up to mine to make sure I was still breathing. Ya'll, how sweet is that? Then, in the morning, he took me to our regular GP to say "What the fuck?"and that's when the Doc said "dehydration...powerful antibiotic doses too close together...whatever happened with that vertigo?...let's refer you to a neurologist...but it's probably unrelated. Go home. Switch drugs. Drink lots of liquids."

I'm feeling much better now, thanks! Thanks especially to my Mr. Super Man, who was totally awesome through the whole thing. I'm so lucky.

Happy Valentine's Day, Monkey!

Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good.

How I spent my Winter Vacation, part the second, wherein there are pictures!

So we stood there, Mr. Man & I, and regarded the stained and not-beautiful slab, and I said "Hmm. It turns out that I don't like this so much."

And, even though he had warned me about how it would probably look, and he had said "We haven't money in the budget for a new floor covering right now, just after paying our taxes on the house", he said "Let's go look at some options". So we went to Lowe's and looked at ugly but cheap linoleum, and expensive and sort of pretty wood & bamboo. Then we remembered that Costco sells that lovely bamboo for a floating floor and we drove to Costco, hoping hoping hoping they hadn't sold out. And we bought 10 boxes (yikes!) of the bamboo.


And went back to Lowe's for some moisture barrier/padding stuff.




And this is when Mr. Man kicked my ass out of the process. He needed solitude to figure out the best approach. He did let me help him lay out the padding, though. Here's another boring, artless photo of the first plank on top of the padding.



And here we are, maybe 26% done, and then maybe 48% done. Borrriiiingggggg. Most boring post ever!











Meanwhile I'm amusing myself by examining these bamboo boxes and trying to figure out the meaning of the "universal" pictographs on them. Like this one:

"When drinking from a glass with uneven edge, protect the liquid from the damaging rays of the sun by shading it with an umbrella." Or something like that.

Finally, the Man realized the whole process would go much faster if he let me help. And suddenly we were about 85% done (we thought) and it was facking late, so we called it quits till the morning.
The following morning I drove to Grannie's house to collect the girls, who we'd missed terribly. Mr. Man kept working while I was gone.

And when we returned, the floor looked like this:


Isn't it pretty? I've already cleaned cat vomit off of it. So easy! Wipe clean! Unlike the carpet, which demanded scrubbing and rewarded me with still remaining stain & bad smell. Super-nice! And all for around $2 per square foot. Of course, now we find out that we were supposed to put wood glue in between the planks to make them stay together even after we take the spacers out. So there's that. But Mr. Man says, "No Problem! I can do it in sections!"

Anyway, it looks SO much better that I have decided to throw a superbowl party. Ya'll come on over!

How I Spent My Winter Vacation, part the first, in which there are no pictures

So you may not have gathered this information if you haven't been reading the comments, but Mr. Man & I are home alone at present. Meaning without our children. It feels really weird, but I know the kids are having an awesome time at Grannie's house without us. While we were all there for x-mas, they kept asking us "When are you leaving?! You go home now!". So we did. And sometime after we got home on Tuesday, or maybe it was Wednesday morning, I said "Hey. Let's rip up this nasty, stained carpet in the living room. We could never do this if the kids were here. Let's just do it now." And Mr. Man said "Are you sure?" and I said "It looks like we took some extra-greasy homeless guy off the street and rolled him around in here until all the stink came off of him and stayed on the carpet. Yes, I'm sure." And he said "Well, we don't really have enough money right now to put anything down over the concrete slab. it's gonna be cold, and hard, and echo-y. And I said "I. don't. care. I would rather look at/decorate the concrete slab (until we can cover it with wood, bamboo, tile, etc.) than ever put my bare foot on top of that cat vomit and fetid chocolate milk*-infested carpet ever again."

Let me clarify a point here. The carpet didn't smell like an extra-greasy homeless guy. It only looked bad. As far as I know. You know how a house can have a secret smell of which the occupants are unaware? Like, everyone else knows about the smell except the people who live there and are so accustomed to it that they can no longer detect it? I live in fear of that house being my house.

So all of you people who know me in real life, please have the human decency to tell me if my house ever smells like, you know, whatever. Bad. Just tell me, please. Nag Champa is pretty cheap. That being said, this is perhaps not the best format for such shame-inducing criticism. So let's have that conversation in private, I beg of you.

* I chose not to list above everything else that has landed on that stretch of carpet since we bought this house, like coffee, wine, kid pee & vomit, markers, etc. You get the idea. And this only covers the stuff we know about, the stuff we as the current owner/occupants put there. What about everything the previous owners deposited on said carpet. Enter, stage left, Fear of the Unknown. Which keeps reminding me of the episode of the U.S. version of The Office, in which Michael & Dwight attempt to throw a party while attending a convention at a hotel. In Michael's hotel room, these two turn on a blacklight and all these stains suddenly appear, all over the bed and on the wall above the bed. Michael asks "What is that stuff?" and Dwight, summoning his CSI knowledge, replies "Either urine or semen.". Then Michael says, kind of plaintively, "Oh God I hope it's urine.".
Amen, brother.

Anyway, back to the carpet. So, we move all the furniture out of the living room and start yanking out the carpet, after Mr. Man once again says "are you sure? No matter what is under here, you want the carpet out?" which makes me think, "what does he think is under here??" and I say "YES".
So we did it. We ripped out the carpet like we ourselves were home improvement ninjas. And we rolled it up, and carried it outside along with all the padding (Yuck!) and shoved it into our CR-V and drove to the municipal landfill. See, one bonus of living in the 'hood with the po fokes is that the Dump is located so conveniently close to our house. All those people who live in the white neighborhoods west of I-35, or even west of Mopac, have to drive (or pay their lackeys to drive) so much farther than we do. Yea!

Ya'll, have you ever been to the Dump? Well, I never had. Until yesterday. I don't ever want to go back. It smells alot like Mexico. Not the beautiful Yucatan (the Mexican Riviera!) part of Mexico, I'm talking back alley sections of Nuevo Laredo, without the benefit of an occasional whiff of delicious refritos drifting past your nose or the possibility of scoring some hash. No, at The Dump, they have posted those "No smoking beyond this point" signs for a good reason. Your face could burst into flames from the fumes.

After leaving our nasty carpet & padding behind us for the swarming seagulls to pick over (wtf? what can they possibly find to eat there? and how far away is the ocean?) we drove home to clean the concrete slab. It was kinda gross.

End of part 1. I promise photos with the next part. Yeehaa!

you better watch out!

** I forgot to say this photo was taken at Sinda's white elephant gift exchange party. Paula got extra-lucky with this gift, although I'm still wondering what sort of "Adults-only" gift Thomas & Susan left with. They snuck out without showing us what was in the box!**

Multimedia message, originally uploaded by barlyru.

Look what Santa brought for Paula: Andy's hand-crafted earrings.

Isn't she a beatific model? You can almost hear a chorus of angels singing...